The Rose

I've no idea why my mind has gone here, 

but I almost feel like I can't say another word until I do. 

So... this is for me, you, whoever 

is in need of reading this today.

I don't know what sort of music or other things really helped my Grandma to cope through the craziness of life, but I do know that later on in years The Rose by Bette Midler was one of her favorite songs.

This has also become one of my favorites, almost for as long as I can remember. I recall being surprised that Grandma loved this song - probably because of it's origin. 

It has meant many different things to me over the years; as I'm sure it did for Grandma. Though I feel comfort and peace from it, it also manages to always make me cry... a healing cry.

This song makes me think of: 

• my military husband and other military families
• specific people from years gone by
• loss
• big failures that turned out to be a good thing in the long run
• continually overcoming living a life of fear
• addictions
• hard fought and won battles
• bittersweet victories

Mostly I find a great deal of hope in the fact that when all is said and done, Spring comes and so does growth, life, and Mother Earth's energy in full bloom.

                                "The Rose"

Some say love, it is a river
That drowns the tender reed.
Some say love, it is a razor
That leaves your soul to bleed.
Some say love, it is a hunger,
An endless aching need.
I say love, it is a flower,
And you its only seed.

It's the heart afraid of breaking
That never learns to dance.
It's the dream afraid of waking
That never takes the chance.
It's the one who won't be taken,
Who cannot seem to give,
And the soul afraid of dyin'
That never learns to live.

When the night has been too lonely
And the road has been too long,
And you think that love is only
For the lucky and the strong,
Just remember in the winter
Far beneath the bitter snows
Lies the seed that with the sun's love
In the spring becomes the rose.

Choose Your Own Adventure

I have made many decisions throughout my life. They have been good, bad, passive, energetic, simple, complex... all of these have taken me down a variety of paths. 

Sometimes I have meandered, other times I've slouched, I've gone ahead full steam, and I've hidden. The doors that have been opened  as well as shut have always been interesting. 

I have always been exactly where I should be, even when I didn't think so; even when I wish I hadn't been.

To bring the point home, know that I grew up reading Edward Packard's Choose Your Own Adventure series. I shared them with friends and we had a grand time. 

I recall going through the motions and picking my path, but I was always unsettled - thinking there was a better path but I just wasn't seeing it. My friends and I would discuss the endings and what happened along the way. 

We had to back up our storyline selection by explaining our deductive logic and reasoning that led to the story we elected to follow. Sam and Jeff always seemed to have the coolest adventures... (I didn't really have friends that were girls back then). 

After a brief period of time, I found that I would re-read and then select the path that I thought was the coolest, before we met to discuss our adventures. I would then tell my friends that I naturally selected the most prestigious story of all the options. What a cheater!

In hindsight, I know now that there is no perfect story or perfect ending. The stories are all just endings that have equally neat things that happen all along the way. 

In fact, I've come to understand that the only thing perfect about each story is two-fold: 1) we get to choose and 2) experience the process. The ending isn't necessarily the main objective, rather just a type of result.

You see, the intrigue is that there's not a single story that is better than another. It's just not "our story" and our perception about watching it unfold can often be romanticized.

The entire point of choosing your own adventure, is to see what you do with the path you have taken. The neat thing about a real life 'choose your own adventure' is that you're not limited to a specific path or ending.

You can change your direction at any time. You literally can do this. It might take time, creativity, lots of energy and so on, but it is absolutely possible. If you don't like where you are - change it. If you don't like who you are - change you. Be relentless. Make it happen.

There is no ending to your story - not even at "the end". As you have taken your adventures, you have touched and influenced others along the way. The effect is exponential. 

No, your story never really ends. What your story really does is influence another person's adventure. So choose, do, serve, love, laugh, cry, and experience your life fully. 

He's Ours!

At the sound of a Judges pen writing across a paper, it's done.  

Today, it became official! Our son is now legally ours. Um, so why have you not clapped, cried or done a back-flip yet? 

Excuse me? What was that? Yep, the world just stopped a second and the angels in heaven sang. Yes, you did hear that and feel that correctly. You are not going insane.

A Better Mindset

Remember as a kid having tons of energy to play as well as energy to be sneaky about the things you wanted to avoid? Were you ever threatened with the notion that you couldn't go play with so and so, until your room was clean? 

How quickly did that room get taken care of? Or did you hate the notion of cleaning your room so much that you just sat there and not only didn't get to play, but your room was still a wreck? 

Figuratively speaking, I'm certain you have similar, more contemporary parallels that you can draw upon, wherein you are still just like that little kid. What would happen if you actually enjoyed what you were doing, even the things you had to do?

What would happen if appropriate pressure was applied in important areas of our lives and we took advantage of the opportunity to act? 

What would happen if we conquered the conscious and subconscious excuses that we use to hinder our progress? What would happen if we tossed out the hassle and senseless stress that's created by putting things off? 

What would happen to our various relationships if we were constantly present and acted appropriately in the moment? What would happen if we set aside our pride long enough to see that something else (or someone else) was more important in that moment?

What would happen if you simply had a better mindset about the task ahead and disciplined yourself to plow through? 

We don't always have to understand the end from the beginning in order to put energy to a task. Sometimes it's the process and the waiting that are what actually gives us the answers, the clarity.

This is where I am at. The process and the waiting I mean. And there is indeed a great deal of clarity everywhere I turn.

Best of 2012

Thanks for reading! Here's wishing us all a fantastic 2013!

Blogger statistics say that the following are consistently the top 3 posts - regardless of year:

Abiding Love 

Reflections, Observations, Looking Forward 

Poetry Corner: Imaginary Villain

Blogger statistics say that the following are the top 10 posts of 2012:

It's A Boy! 

The Results: Ragnar 2012 

SKIN! 

Unguard! Un-guard… On Guard? 

How to Pee Your Pants and Still Be Sexy 

Personal Manifesto 

I Said the C-Word 

Well That Sucks 

Father Dearest 

Poetry Corner: Whoopee Cushion Memories 
(I love that this made the list. Makes me feel like I'm not alone in my potty humor and deviousness.)

Caledonia

I'm sitting in my kitchen listening to excellent music. My mind can't help but keep returning to various memories of good times, wonderful places, awesome and very timely friendships. 

At this point in time, I am reminded of a particular song by the Celtic Woman called Caledonia. The lyrics, pleasant performance and such all remind me of these various fond memories; besides that, Lisa Kelly is simply beautiful.  

The concept of "Caledonia" is universal, really. It's not just limited to a particular place in Scotland, but many physical environments, places in time, camaraderie of yesteryear; a specific refuge. 

Caledonia is any time, any place, any person that you repeatedly draw upon in memory - that still impacts your decisions for good.  There may even be a sense of longing or yearning for this time, be it long since past or that you can return to infrequently. 

In some cases, you know you can't return to your "Caledonia", but the longing sure manages to give you strength, perseverance, hope, purpose, and energy. 

Your Caledonia inspires you, still. It may even inspire with a yearning in the background, even as you still manage to push along. 

Here I sit, reflecting. Some bittersweet feelings, some joy, but above all a recognition that I am okay. All is well. Life is good. I am doing my best. 

Sometimes my best is good enough, and sometimes it... takes me to unexpected places in less pleasant circumstances. Then again, sometimes the circumstances are very pleasant, but short lived.

However, as long as I am doing and giving my best, regardless of pleasantries, I always seem to end up just where I should be, as well as with the people I need to be with. 

I am human. I make mistakes. I am far from perfect. Sometimes I make really big mistakes. I suspect I'm not the only one that can say this. I also do good things. 


Regardless, at this time, I am still very thankful for where I've come from, where I am going, and the variety of people that have influenced me. All of which have made me who I am today.

So I hold on to my Caledonia and continue to dream. 

"Caledonia"

I don't know if you can see
The changes that have come over me
In these last few days I've been afraid
That I might drift away
I've been telling old stories, singing songs
That make me think about where I've come from
That's the reason why I seem
So far away today

[Chorus:]
Let me tell you that I love you
That I think about you all the time
Caledonia, you're calling me, now I'm going home
But if I should become a stranger
Know that it would make me more than sad
Caledonia's been everything I've ever had

Now I have moved and I've kept on moving
Proved the points that I needed proving
Lost the friends that I needed losing
Found others on the way
I have kissed the fellas and left them crying
Stolen dreams, yes, there's no denying
I have traveled hard, sometimes with conscience flying
Somewhere with the wind

[Chorus]

Now I'm sitting here before the fire
The empty room, the forest choir
The flames have cooled, don't get any higher
They've withered, now they've gone
But I'm steady thinking, my way is clear
And I know what I will do tomorrow
When hands have shaken, the kisses float
Then I will disappear

[Chorus]

Caledonia's been everything I've ever had
Caledonia's been everything I've ever had
Caledonia's been everything I've ever had

Now & Later

If "it" is important to me and I don't invest anything to take care of "it", then who will? This falls back on my own personal twist of Hillel the Elder's quote, which is now a motto of mine:

If not now, when? If not you, who?

With this in mind, let's reflect on the power of now versus the power of later.

The Power of Now 

In short, here are the main points of the concept of the power of now.

• If someone is waiting on you, do it now.  
• If no one is waiting on you and there's no hurry, do it now, so it's out of the way and you can go on to something else without "it" looming over you.
• If you notice that something needs to be done and you have the power and/or knowledge to do it, do it now.
• If you wonder why no one is taking care of it, do it now. Don't wait for someone else to take care of it - you are someone else.
• If you say to yourself, I should do that, then do it now.
• If you say to yourself that he/she should do it, then YOU do it now.

The entire point of the power of now is that you are empowered, in that very moment. You are empowered to complete the thing you think should be done. 

Why maintain expectations if not previously outlined to another party? Why wait on someone else, especially if you are perfectly capable. "He should." "She should." Whatever, it all points down to YOU should.

The Power of Later

This is where you are truly dependent upon someone else or you need to employ the power of patience by delaying for a greater good.

The aim here is that if a delayed or patient action is added to a well thought-out response, wouldn't that be incredibly impactful? Then, use it! 

Some situations are best resolved in the silent discomfort of waiting. How do you know when to use the Power of Now versus Later? The answer is really incredibly simple. 

Which one has been working for you? Keep doing it. Which one hasn't? Stop using it until it becomes effective again.

I like Dr. Phil McGraw's concept of "never waste a good opportunity to shut up." I also like Darren Hardy's philosophy of "The Compound Effect". In either case, it's hard work. 

If it is no longer hard work, then you aren't being challenged enough and somewhere you are slowly slouching backwards. Stay there long enough, and you will become very surprised how you got into a very uncomfortable position.

Where do you see yourself in five to ten years? Make goals and plans and then start working on them. If not now, when? If not you, who? It's time. It might even be time to approach that goal differently than you have ever approached something before.