Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Ungaurd! Un-guard... On Guard?

I've been staring at the air, then compelled to sit at this keyboard, then I've glanced repeatedly all around me. I'm worried about nothing in particular. 

I'm alone. I'm scared, but not sure why. I have heart palpitations and a roller coaster ride happening in my stomach; there is no reason behind it. Some call this panic, but I'm not certain.

I logically know that all is well, yet, there is unease. I'm certain I'm not the only one who has been in this place. There's no reason for me to be a visitor of this paralyzed state of being. I don't like it. I don't want it. Yet, I'm here. 

I feel invisible cogs on an invisible wheel turning swiftly - as if it has influence over my future... yet, I'm powerless to change it. It's as if the air around me is blowing - swiftly changing my course, yet everything is eerily still. 

Something has moved. Something has changed. And the trigger effect, the chain reaction, just hasn't hit me yet. Is it good? Is it bad? Is it a little of both? I just don't know.

The rational person inside of me says, "You're just being paranoid." 

Yet, personal intuition says, "No. What you are feeling is the effects of real change from another person, making their own choice. This decision acts like a rock skipping across a pond and in time it will actually affect the air in your personal space. You felt this because change is indeed coming; prepare."

The irrational person simply wants to crawl in a corner and hide from the unknown. The present person reviews the events and decides she can't change a thing at the moment.

So, I log off and go downstairs to put the nervous energy, the unfounded worry into a workout, hoping to forget what has or hasn't just happened.

1 comment:

  1. I read this blog post since we talked on the phone, I can get over this part -- "Yet, personal intuition says, "No. What you are feeling is the effects of real change from another person, making their own choice. This decision acts like a rock skipping across a pond and in time it will actually affect the air in your personal space. You felt this because change is indeed coming; prepare."

    WOW!

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