Covered In Grace

It's hard not to notice that I believe in God. I have faith. If you have been reading my blog, but do not personally believe in a higher power - thank you for sticking with me. 

I won't try to convince you to be a believer. But I would like to share with you a brief thought.

My beliefs and faith in God are a definite core component in my life. I believe that my life has a purpose. 

Because of this belief it is much easier for me to feel guided. It is much easier to face the challenges of life, to meet trials head-on, with real power, and with temperance.

Setting a higher power aside for those that do not accept, I still think we can see eye to eye in many ways. 

Mercy exists

even if you do not believe in a higher power; 

so does courage, kindness, hope, love, 

perseverance, and joy. 

These attributes often move people into action. Endurance blooms in the light of all of these efforts. 

In my mind, God abounds in these environments. I believe that we were meant to strive to be all of these things. 

By emulating this behavior, for the benefit of someone else, I believe that we actually become an earthly angel aiding others. Yes, "someone" also includes our furry four-legged friends, fish, birds - every living creature.

Some may feel that it's just the right thing to do. Financial contributions are nothing but a tax benefit. Being a humanitarian is good public relations. But to me, when you do these things, I see it as being the literal hand of God on a divine errand.

Living fearlessly, generously, and selflessly in this way, makes me feel warm and good. It makes me feel the deepest kind of love. 

I am moved by charity of all varieties. When we do good and when we have faith in something greater that ourselves, it is like being wrapped in a shroud of the finest kind; I call being covered in grace.

I believe that repeated practice of these attributes literally endow us with a dowry of the finest eternal kind. 

The excitement that stems from this behavior lives somewhere inside me and it is constantly burning. Some may call it intrinsic motivation, I call it a blessing.

I give, I do, I love, I try, I persevere because I want to live with my Heavenly Father again. 

I want to face the higher power that made me and honestly say, "I did my best." 

It is that simple.

Living in Faith and Courage

Someone asked me recently, "what made it possible to change from living in fear to living in faith and courage?" This is an extremely good question.

When I was living in fear, I was allowing myself to be ruled by self doubt, which was fueled by false perceptions. These false perceptions were not limited to just myself, but the world, as well as my role within it. I had truly believed that I was insignificant and easily discarded. Please note the past tense tone of that last statement.

Because I felt that I was insignificant and easily discarded, I feared that my entire existence didn't matter. I believed that I was one hundred percent replaceable in every way. Fear was a natural result. This childhood fear definitely lingered well into my adult years.

I would come in and out of this phase and thinking periodically, but it was never a lasting feeling. With such strong limiting beliefs, how on earth could I matter in the grand scheme of things? In what possible way could I bring any value to the world at all?

Then there was a series of events that completely upended this fear-based line of thinking. 

SITUATION: I had a talk with God one day and I asked, if I was so replaceable and insignificant, then why am I here? I believed God to be a kind and a loving God, but if I was here on earth without a purpose or any meaning, then that was just simply cruel.

RESULT: God found a way to let me know that I was of value, but more importantly I believed it. Here's how He did it.

The way in which I learned that I was of value and significance was during the time I was watching my father-in-law slowly die. God spoke to me in my heart during this time. I am not sure that I can describe it, but it was powerful and undeniable. Here were some of the thoughts I was having.

My father-in-law was prone to melancholy and depressive thoughts, yet he had impacted so many lives for good - more than he had impacted them in negative ways. I then thought about others that had "impact" and "value" in the world both on a grand scale as well as in my own personal life. 

Martin Luther King, Jr., Abraham Lincoln, and Oprah Winfrey are truly great people - but with some pretty big issues and faults. But they persevered and continued forward to the best of their ability. They persistently and consistently worked hard to live good lives. Their best efforts changed lives for the better.

On a personal note and as further proof, there's Mrs. Wasden who was my fourth grade teacher. Because of her example I learned to love reading and writing. She is a good woman, with a beautiful light to share with the world. 

All Mrs. Wasden cared about was God, her family, her students... ginger snaps and root beer flavored hardtack candy. Yet, when in her presence, you were made to feel as though you were the top priority - even in a crowded room.

As I reflected on these experiences, they became a serious ongoing boost to my faith. If my imperfect melancholy father-in-law, Martin Luther King, Jr., Abraham Lincoln, Oprah Winfrey, and Mrs. Wasden can impact even one person to change their life for the better, well then...that was a life well spent.

When you have faith-uplifting experiences like this, it creates an energy and courage within. When this happens, the world seems to change right in front of your eyes.


SITUATION: Because of the increase in faith and courage, I felt more daring to try things, to be more involved, and more than that - to believe that my contribution to a variety of events in life actually mattered. 

RESULT: All the sudden I felt a surge of energy, an almost "unleashing" and urgency to live life fully. Why? Because someone out there needed me. Someone out there could have their life changed for the better, just because I had the words and maybe even the actions at the right time to be the linchpin to their unleashing. 

Wham! Bam! All of the sudden I can see that I am in no way insignificant. Of course I matter! Of course I have value! Now that I understand this, how could I have fear? How could I not have courage? 

It was at this time that I first heard Gandhi's quote, "You must be the change you wish to see in the world." He said it so simply. It was as if it could happen, just like that. Just all the sudden, "be the change."

I've since discovered that it is possible to all of the sudden just "be the change." Your habitual doubts and historical behavior are an ongoing obstacle, but it is possible to change them as you create new habits. It requires practice, but it is possible.

Poetry Corner: Pristine Pools

Today I have been thinking a lot about Yellowstone National Park. Why? Hmm, I could say that it's because I would like to get away to a natural retreat and enjoy the splendor of the earth. But in all reality my inner emotions have been all over the place. The erratic internal volatility of the need to take my son and husband and just get away is on the overwhelming side of things. It sure would be nice to say: Dear Reality, would you please go sit in the corner over there while I take my dreams and go this way?

While I have been thinking this way today, I remembered a poem I wrote the last time I was at Yellowstone (see below). It was such a beautiful place, but its beauty was created out of seriously volatile events over a very long period of time. It's amazing to me that water by appearance is so beautiful, yet has become incredibly deadly to the touch. Now I'm not saying that through tough times in my life I have been made so beautiful that if you come near me I might melt your skin off, like out of some Indiana Jones movie. What I am saying is that: 1) Tough times can make beautiful things happen. 2) Patience has the capacity to create tremendous power. 3) If I remain aware, I will be less likely to lose sight of what is really important. 

I have the choice of how I will react. I have the choice of finding a way to thrive in the now, always. Tough things happen. Hard decisions have to be made. And the beauty in this is that, I have a choice. Decisions, decisions, decisions!

Pristine Pools

treading the planks

of this forsaken land

I ponder the life and

death of all I see…

a boiling brew of earth

begins to drum erratically

occasionally gurgling its refrain,

as a foul misty stench

coats my skin with an unusual warmth,

and my lungs begin to burn

elements combine,

molding everything together …

dying beautifully

deep within this fissure

I feel the foul heat begin to call –

an inexplicable urge to touch

the prismatic lake

ricochets

within me…

staring at the mouth wide open

I am temporarily paralyzed –

I feel my beauty fade

the longer I gaze, yet

I am captivated

by the subtle harshness

hidden between the vapor,

I remain –

looking into the clearest chasm

below the calm basin

images of terror dance off-beat

as the earth ruptures inward

while pain echoes,

migrating deeper

agitating the fragile balance

not yet ready to burst

not yet ready to take me…

I am suddenly released

with a promise

and a threat

By Diana M. Bateman

2005 ©

Recommitting

The last several blog posts have affected me in a very unexpected way.  In trying to share with you how I feel about food and addressing addictive behaviors, I’ve discovered that I still have a long way to go.  

Cravings I haven’t had in a very long time have resurfaced and I’ve had to battle them – again.  This is a continual battle and one that no one is immune to. 

In other words, this is not something you can achieve and then walk away from. These are lifelong commitments for general physical, mental and spiritual health.

Because of this, I would like to recommit and review things that I learned that have been very valuable to me in my self-discovery and weight loss journey.  

These are core things that I know I need to reengage and continually strive to live by; because I’m simply happier when I do.  

So in making this list, I’m publicly holding myself accountable, as well as maybe helping someone out in the great expanse of the world to gain perspective along with me. 

Diana, You Are Motivated By:

• Good quotes and uplifting stories; keep discovering them.
• Seeing others make plans, engage and succeed in life.
• The knowledge that I am a daughter of God and that all things are possible because of it.
• Good music.

Diana, You Are Healthier When You:

• Drink water only.
• You track your food and employ mindful eating tactics.
• Stick to a daily exercise regimen and keep it challenging.
• Continually make and review goals.
• Stretch multiple times daily.
• Do strength training first, then do cardio so that you are truly burning fat rather than any amount of muscle during your cardio. Muscle assists in burning fat!
• Understand that there are many ways to accomplish things, always believe there is an alternative, especially when the normal path is an obstacle due to disease.

Diana, You Are Happier When You:

• Actively think positive. 
• Frequently review and update your goal list.
• Recognize how richly you are blessed (not talking about money here).
• Pray and give thanks.
• Read scriptures.
• Meditate.
• Honestly engage with yourself and others.
• Speak kindly to and about all people; including yourself.