Friday, January 25, 2013

The Rose

I've no idea why my mind has gone here, 
but I almost feel like I can't say another word until I do. 
So... this is for me, you, whoever 
is in need of reading this today.

I don't know what sort of music or other things really helped my Grandma to cope through the craziness of life, but I do know that later on in years The Rose by Bette Midler was one of her favorite songs.

This has also become one of my favorites, almost for as long as I can remember. I recall being surprised that Grandma loved this song - probably because of it's origin. 

It has meant many different things to me over the years; as I'm sure it did for Grandma. Though I feel comfort and peace from it, it also manages to always make me cry... a healing cry.

This song makes me think of: 

  • my military husband and other military families
  • specific people from years gone by
  • loss
  • big failures that turned out to be a good thing in the long run
  • continually overcoming living a life of fear
  • addictions
  • hard fought and won battles
  • bittersweet victories

Mostly I find a great deal of hope in the fact that when all is said and done, Spring comes and so does growth, life, and Mother Earth's energy in full bloom.

                                "The Rose"

Some say love, it is a river
That drowns the tender reed.
Some say love, it is a razor
That leaves your soul to bleed.
Some say love, it is a hunger,
An endless aching need.
I say love, it is a flower,
And you its only seed.

It's the heart afraid of breaking
That never learns to dance.
It's the dream afraid of waking
That never takes the chance.
It's the one who won't be taken,
Who cannot seem to give,
And the soul afraid of dyin'
That never learns to live.

When the night has been too lonely
And the road has been too long,
And you think that love is only
For the lucky and the strong,
Just remember in the winter
Far beneath the bitter snows
Lies the seed that with the sun's love
In the spring becomes the rose.

Friday, January 11, 2013

Choose Your Own Adventure

I have made many decisions throughout my life. They have been good, bad, passive, energetic, simple, complex... all of these have taken me down a variety of paths. 

Sometimes I have meandered, other times I've slouched, I've gone ahead full steam, and I've hidden. The doors that have been opened  as well as shut have always been interesting. 

I have always been exactly where I should be, even when I didn't think so; even when I wish I hadn't been.

To bring the point home, know that I grew up reading Edward Packard's Choose Your Own Adventure series. I shared them with friends and we had a grand time. 

I recall going through the motions and picking my path, but I was always unsettled - thinking there was a better path but I just wasn't seeing it. My friends and I would discuss the endings and what happened along the way. 

We had to back up our storyline selection by explaining our deductive logic and reasoning that led to the story we elected to follow. Sam and Jeff always seemed to have the coolest adventures... (I didn't really have friends that were girls back then). 

After a brief period of time, I found that I would re-read and then select the path that I thought was the coolest, before we met to discuss our adventures. I would then tell my friends that I naturally selected the most prestigious story of all the options. What a cheater!

In hindsight, I know now that there is no perfect story or perfect ending. The stories are all just endings that have equally neat things that happen all along the way. 

In fact, I've come to understand that the only thing perfect about each story is two-fold: 1) we get to choose and 2) experience the process. The ending isn't necessarily the main objective, rather just a type of result.

You see, the intrigue is that there's not a single story that is better than another. It's just not "our story" and our perception about watching it unfold can often be romanticized.

The entire point of choosing your own adventure, is to see what you do with the path you have taken. The neat thing about a real life 'choose your own adventure' is that you're not limited to a specific path or ending.

You can change your direction at any time. You literally can do this. It might take time, creativity, lots of energy and so on, but it is absolutely possible. If you don't like where you are - change it. If you don't like who you are - change you. Be relentless. Make it happen.

There is no ending to your story - not even at "the end". As you have taken your adventures, you have touched and influenced others along the way. The effect is exponential. 

No, your story never really ends. What your story really does is influence another person's adventure. So choose, do, serve, love, laugh, cry, and experience your life fully. 

Thursday, January 10, 2013

He's Ours!

At the sound of a Judges pen writing across a paper, it's done.  

Today, it became official! Our son is now legally ours. Um, so why have you not clapped, cried or done a back-flip yet? 

Excuse me? What was that? Yep, the world just stopped a second and the angels in heaven sang. Yes, you did hear that and feel that correctly. You are not going insane.

Friday, January 4, 2013

A Better Mindset

Remember as a kid having tons of energy to play as well as energy to be sneaky about the things you wanted to avoid? Were you ever threatened with the notion that you couldn't go play with so and so, until your room was clean? 

How quickly did that room get taken care of? Or did you hate the notion of cleaning your room so much that you just sat there and not only didn't get to play, but your room was still a wreck? 

Figuratively speaking, I'm certain you have similar, more contemporary parallels that you can draw upon, wherein you are still just like that little kid. What would happen if you actually enjoyed what you were doing, even the things you had to do?

What would happen if appropriate pressure was applied in important areas of our lives and we took advantage of the opportunity to act? 

What would happen if we conquered the conscious and subconscious excuses that we use to hinder our progress? What would happen if we tossed out the hassle and senseless stress that's created by putting things off? 

What would happen to our various relationships if we were constantly present and acted appropriately in the moment? What would happen if we set aside our pride long enough to see that something else (or someone else) was more important in that moment?

What would happen if you simply had a better mindset about the task ahead and disciplined yourself to plow through? 

We don't always have to understand the end from the beginning in order to put energy to a task. Sometimes it's the process and the waiting that are what actually gives us the answers, the clarity.

This is where I am at. The process and the waiting I mean. And there is indeed a great deal of clarity everywhere I turn.