G-words & Laughter

Gunk
I am writing this while down in bed. I am sure I will be well soon. However at this time, kleenex, herb tea, and a warm blanket are my friends. I have a lot on my mind though, so let's see if I can summarize. This is going to come out in stream of consciousness format with very little connections for sure - thank you medicine induced state!

Glory
It is quite fitting that as I sit and type that I can see snow falling. I love it when it snows and rains (as long as I'm not driving in it). I also love it when rays of light touch people, things, or shine through trees. Something about these kinds of settings make me feel peace. 

In all seriousness, the feeling I get with the snow, rain, and sunshine is similar to the feeling of peace and relief I get with prayer or looking at pictures of the resurrected Savior. I especially love Del Parson's piece "He Is Risen", depicting Jesus Christ emerging from the sepulcher. It is as if He is walking right out of that tomb and walking directly up to me. And for all intents and purposes, He is.

It is interesting that I feel this same emotion when I perform service for someone else.

Giggles
Laughter, like anything else, is a good thing if used appropriately. We spend a lot of time taking life so seriously, but I believe we don't laugh enough. There is healing in laughter. There is bonding laughter. In fact, let's all just step away from this blog for now and jump over to YouTube to laugh a little; my recommendations: 
Ellen monologue - Types of Laughter
Skype Laughter Chain

In Heat

It was totally fun to name this entry "In Heat", I am absolutely chuckling over it. Hehehehehe, sigh, where's my maturity? Okay, moving on now. 

I've already established in several blog entries that high temperatures are not my friend - thank you multiple sclerosis! However, I am determined to try to change my perspective of heat. Especially at this moment while I am feeling a bit trapped indoors this summer. So, when is heat good for people like me? 

1. I don't know about you, but internal heat from exercise is tolerable for me. I'm a bit addicted to it. 
2. Sometimes, I turn the air conditioning up really high so that I get very cold, just so that when I go outside during the summer I am happy to be in the heat while I move from car to building or inside my home to water the garden.
3. I very much like my husband. Yeah for "intimate heat"! It's true! I'm just sayin'...
4. I love running in cold or cooler temperatures (25-55), because the heat generated from running balances out the cold to make me feel perfectly content.
5. Heat as applied to certain food keeps my stomach happy.
6. Hot chocolate, herbal tea, cider! Yum!

Okay, now I feel a bit better and I have enjoyed a good laugh. How about you? What do you like about the heat? Please keep it clean use #3 as a cleanliness guide. Even if you don't have a condition where hot temperatures is a problem. Share!

Poetry Corner: Whoopee Cushion Memories

I've been giggling lately over many memories of the potty humor variety. So, I thought I would share the fun times with a potty humor poem I wrote about one particular memory. 

I'm simply enjoying the chuckle and I hope you have fun with the comedic relief as well. 

Whoopee Cushion Memories

sling shots ‘n bubble gum,

silly putty ‘n water guns,

too many moments to convey

my youth -
but of them all,

my favorite can only be experienced...

deep breath and exhale directed,

captured –

shh…

                 placement

                     is

                                       everything.

creeping up on normalcy

looking

as innocent as can be.

making the drop

isn’t

simple

for it

cannot

be seen.

‘neath cushions ‘n pillows

or simply dropped into seat,

slipped under a descending rump

or blatantly squeezed.

placing a whoopee cushion

is about

the element of surprise

and can only be rated

by the sound of your audience,

your poor victims cries.

By Diana M. Bateman

2007©

Poetry Corner: Rubber-Band Girl Syndrome

So I have a stash of clothing of various sizes that I have to keep in storage. The reason I do this is because of what I call the “Rubber-Band Girl Syndrome”.

My body does this thing where it...fluctuates in size before, during, and after steroid treatments. This doesn’t seem to happen to everyone who has these treatments, but for me...let’s just say ElastaGirl has new meaning to me.

So, to add humor to the situation, a while back I wrote a poem about my ElastaGirl/Rubber-Band Girl Syndrome experience that I thought was pretty funny.

Note: this poem should be read with a sea-man sounding voice.

Parable of the Bosom

‘tween Me and Myself

I seldom forget my panties –

but much to my dismay,

when all put together,

do I notice my bosoms

dangle too low

so I heave and I ho

Me pulls the straps on my left,

Myself tourniquets the right;

‘til no more blood graces my veins

shoulder and ‘low

when mirror confronted

I see how silly this be

as bubbled in the center

is the makings of an udder…

in defeat I lower the anchors

and batten down the hatches,

telling myself:

‘tis better to surrender

in the end a good lesson is learned

for I am blessed to jiggle

and

there’s more of me to be yearned.

By Diana M. Bateman

I Want To Laugh

Diana going down the Zip Line at the Utah Olympic Park.

Turn the volume up and press play to laugh at her and her very serious fear of heights.

I want to laugh, so I am just gonna' put some things on here that are guaranteed to make me giggle. So I hope they work for you too.

From Lily Tomlin in the hit play The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe (written by Ms. Jane Wagner).

• “All my life I’ve wanted to be somebody. But now I see that I should’ve been more specific.”
• "I'd do better at something creative, but somehow I lack talent to go with it, and being creative without talent is a bit like being a perfectionist and not being able to do anything right."
• "You'd think by now evolution could've at least evolved us to the point where we could change ourselves."
• "I can take reality in small doses, but as a lifestyle I think it's too confining."
• "Goin' crazy was the best thing ever happened to me. I don't say it's for everybody; some people couldn't cope.”
• “I refuse to be intimidated by reality anymore.”
• “What’s reality anyway? Reality is nothin’ but a collective hunch.”

Jack Handy, American Writer and cast member of Saturday Night Live from 1991-2003. Jack is famous for his Deep Thoughts.

• “I hope that someday we’ll be able to put away our fears and prejudices and just laugh at people.”