Tests, Vomit, and a Pat on the Back

My recent blog silence has been due to a series final exams and being really sick. I am happy to report that two really cool things happened during this time. So here's the story…

Studying, worrying, feeling unprepared no matter how prepared I got myself… ever been there? 

You got it! I got sick. All that worry and stress, adding in a little bad weather, horrible inversion making the air nasty - this is prime ground to get sick.

Cool thing #1 was that I did really well on my tests and one of them was a certifying test with the American College of Sports Medicine. You got it! I am now a Certified Personal Trainer! 

However, just hours before my test that couldn't be rescheduled, without losing a lot of money, my sickness took a turn for the worse. I managed to get through the test and home in time before I really was out of it.

I've not been this sick in many years. Never fear antibiotics and loving family support are here! God bless all those that helped me during this time. Especially one person in particular…

Cool thing #2 is that despite having to ignore and be clear of my son so he wouldn't get sick from me, he still managed to cope and love me anyway. Here's that story now.

At one point I was alone, vomiting in the bathroom when I heard the patter of my son's little feet come behind me. Worrying about how to block him from the vile violent view as well as keep his curious hands out of the way, I discovered I didn't need to worry. 

My little guy just stood at my back hugging me and patting my back until I was done. Then he simply just walked away to play with the dogs.

(as of 12/21/13 I am also a Certified Functional Movement Specialist!)

G-words & Laughter

Gunk
I am writing this while down in bed. I am sure I will be well soon. However at this time, kleenex, herb tea, and a warm blanket are my friends. I have a lot on my mind though, so let's see if I can summarize. This is going to come out in stream of consciousness format with very little connections for sure - thank you medicine induced state!

Glory
It is quite fitting that as I sit and type that I can see snow falling. I love it when it snows and rains (as long as I'm not driving in it). I also love it when rays of light touch people, things, or shine through trees. Something about these kinds of settings make me feel peace. 

In all seriousness, the feeling I get with the snow, rain, and sunshine is similar to the feeling of peace and relief I get with prayer or looking at pictures of the resurrected Savior. I especially love Del Parson's piece "He Is Risen", depicting Jesus Christ emerging from the sepulcher. It is as if He is walking right out of that tomb and walking directly up to me. And for all intents and purposes, He is.

It is interesting that I feel this same emotion when I perform service for someone else.

Giggles
Laughter, like anything else, is a good thing if used appropriately. We spend a lot of time taking life so seriously, but I believe we don't laugh enough. There is healing in laughter. There is bonding laughter. In fact, let's all just step away from this blog for now and jump over to YouTube to laugh a little; my recommendations: 
Ellen monologue - Types of Laughter
Skype Laughter Chain

The Other Side of Las Vegas

In June 2002 my husband and I went to Las Vegas, Nevada for a brief weekend trip. And so the story begins...

I was walking from air-conditioned car to air-conditioned hotel to air-conditioned anything... I simply couldn't handle the heat and I didn't know why. One step in the heat, then I would vomit. 

One bite of food and then I would get the same reaction. It was horrid, to say the least. I pretty much stayed in the dark hotel room with the AC unit ramped high. 

We quickly decided to head home, and I think it was the morning we were going to leave that we went to breakfast. Well, Josh went to breakfast. I put food on my plate and stared at it, wondering how long it would stay down. I was so hungry that I eventually caved and took a bite, then two, then three then... RUN! 

While in the restroom, I was kneeling, practically face-planted in the water of the toilet bowl, gasping for air in between a mixture of dry heaves and a complete...unleashing. 

It was at the moment of the long awaited sixty-second relief with no vomit and actual breathing when a woman outside the bathroom stall spoke to me and asked, "Are you okay dear?" 

Then came my gasping labored lie of "uh-huh". She was so kind and didn't give up, as she offered, "can I get you some water?" In my selfish, embarrassed state I replied weakly "no, thank you". 

What the woman said next has remained fixed in my memory since that time. 

In an extremely heartfelt tone she said, "Ma'am, I know you are having a hard time in there, but you need to know that you are worth more than this. God loves you. You need to stop torturing yourself this way. I don't know you, but I do know that you are worth so much more than this. We were given food to feed the body and scripture to feed the soul. God loves you. I'll pray for you." 

All I had energy to utter at the time, between my labored breathing and still dripping mouth, while tears were now flowing was a  feeble, "thank you."

After this the woman left and a short time later my stomach settled and I was able to return to my husband. I relayed to him the story of what had happened and neither of us really knew what to think about that situation. 

Obviously the woman thought I was bulimic or something. There were several women who walked in and out of the restroom while I was in there; but only one asked if I needed help. 

This experience has really stuck with me though. Here's why I am sharing it with you:

• This June I will be heading to Las Vegas for a conference. 
• This June will make it ten years since that last experience. I am returning, fully intending on having a very different... less projectile vomiting...experience this go-around.
• When the vomit monster hit me ten years ago, it was due to complications of how my body was responding to heat at that time. We also now know that Multiple Sclerosis was the culprit.
• My life has become much better regardless of the presence of disease and seasonal heat.
• This was a tremendous display of human kindness from one stranger to another who was apparently in great distress. 
• Even though the stranger got the situation all wrong, her response was still perfect. 

It's the last two points I want to focus on here. A stranger could see that there was something wrong and did her best to help in the only way she knew how, which was to reaffirm that:

• I'm worth more.
• I am my own worst enemy.
• What we do to or put into our body has consequences, which may indeed be all wrong for us, causing us great harm.
• What we do to fuel our soul through this life is just as important as how we fuel our body.
• Getting through this life may require reliance on another person's faith and effort on our behalf; even strangers.
• God loves us.

Believe me when I say that I never imagined I would go to "Sin City" expecting to hear a stranger preaching in the name of Sunday to me; especially while vomiting in a bathroom stall and then having that experience stick with me for the rest of my life. 

But there you have it. She spoke absolute truth. I sincerely do believe that she prayed for me. How often do we leave situations when we can see that another is in need, yet we fail to share the essentials as noted above?

This is an excellent example of what drives and motivates me today. You see, I know now that I am indeed worth more. I'm tired of being  doubled over with the burden of being my own worst enemy. 

I am trying earnestly to really care about what I feed myself physically and spiritually, so that my body is as strong as it can be for what God wants me to do, to be. 

I need all within the sound of my voice and within reach of my virtual pen to pray for me; lending me strength and faith when I otherwise wouldn't have any. When all is said and done, I still know that God loves me - that's all that really matters anyway.

I'm so thankful that ten years ago I got to see the other side of Las Vegas. Thanks to a stranger...it has made all the difference.

Poetry Corner: Whoopee Cushion Memories

I've been giggling lately over many memories of the potty humor variety. So, I thought I would share the fun times with a potty humor poem I wrote about one particular memory. 

I'm simply enjoying the chuckle and I hope you have fun with the comedic relief as well. 

Whoopee Cushion Memories

sling shots ‘n bubble gum,

silly putty ‘n water guns,

too many moments to convey

my youth -
but of them all,

my favorite can only be experienced...

deep breath and exhale directed,

captured –

shh…

                 placement

                     is

                                       everything.

creeping up on normalcy

looking

as innocent as can be.

making the drop

isn’t

simple

for it

cannot

be seen.

‘neath cushions ‘n pillows

or simply dropped into seat,

slipped under a descending rump

or blatantly squeezed.

placing a whoopee cushion

is about

the element of surprise

and can only be rated

by the sound of your audience,

your poor victims cries.

By Diana M. Bateman

2007©