Great find: How to Live To Be 100+

There is a great find on ted.com. I encourage you to check it out. It is a presentation by Dan Buettner and the title is How to Live to Be 100+. Though I personally am not sure if I want to live to be that old, what I do like about this is that I want to live as healthily and independent as I can until I do pass.  It is with this in mind that Dan's presentation resonated with me.

A Run Gone Horribly Wrong

Last November 1st I was on a run to get training miles in. It was nine to ten in the morning. I was hurrying so that I could make it home in time for church and then we had plans for the evening. It was the only time I could get the miles in that day. But it ended very differently than planned.

Not too far from my house is a irrigation canal and horse path. I've run that trail for years. It was on this run, I understood just how vulnerable I am when running alone.

A man in his mid-to-late twenties jumped out of the bushes on the other side of the canal and hurried over to the low end of the water. He jumped over that part of the canal and ran up the embankment and began to chase me.

When I saw him jump from the bushes and hurry out of them, I picked up my pace. I immediately felt in danger. That was the fastest I ever ever run in my life!

I felt certain that if I ran and never looked back, I would be safe. I knew that if I saved my breath for the running, I wouldn't slow down; I would have enough air to keep my pace and increase evermore.

Nearing the end of the path I could see an elderly woman coming our way. She was moving in such a way that I knew she was not in an physical condition to walk any faster, let alone flee for her life. I yelled with all I had in me, "Stop! Turn around! It's not safe!"

She did turn around and headed toward the street which was not too far away by then. I knew that there was no way she could increase her speed. Knowing this, I knew I would have to stop and say with her. There was no way I would leave her there alone.

As I drew closer to her I yelled, "Is he still behind me?" She yelled back that he wasn't and that he'd recently jumped back in the bushes. As I got closer to the lady I stopped and walked her pace with her and before long we were back on the main road.

Her home was nearby, so I walked her home. We then called the police and made a report. To my knowledge the man was never caught.

I am blessed to have made it out of that situation, however I didn't escape injury free. I ran so hard, so fast, and for so long that once the adrenaline dissipated I was in horrible pain in my left foot.

Over the following weeks and months, I had gone to urgent care a couple of times. I was told repeatedly that I simply had inflamed soft tissue in my foot and that the pain would subside after a few weeks. The doctors didn't see anything in my x-rays that would suggest otherwise.

So I reduced my activity (which is aggravating to do as a personal trainer and group exercise instructor). But every time I resumed activity my foot would hurt.

By the time early February came I got another x-ray and then sent the image to my podiatrist brother-in-law, who lives in another state. I told him the story and about the pain and asked him what more I could do.

He responded by saying, the doctors just aren't x-raying from he correct angle and that it is a common miss from non-specialists. But that he could see the distal end of the first metatarsal was definitely broken (joint of the big toe) and more.

I was able to get into a local podiatrist very quickly and they took another x-ray from the missing angle. We found that indeed there was a jagged break all along the joint. There was also multiple breaks in the medial sesamoid bone that resides under that joint.

After seven weeks in a walking cast, the jagged break was healed. However, the sesamoid bone was not. My doctor modified my shoe insole and put me back into my shoes. I was also outfitted with a bone stimulator to try and help the sesamoid heal.

I have had a number of extensive conversations with my podiatrist and found ways via his advice to be able to continue to teach all my group exercise classes and support the people I personally train. It's been tricky, but I've made it successfully through.

I am now at the point in my healing that the only way to truly return to full activity without pain is to have the sesamoid surgically removed.

I've decided that at this time, I will not pursue surgery. I don't know how my multiple sclerosis (MS) will respond to that, or how I will be affected in extremely more reduced activity.  I am moving now and I still want to celebrate that and take full advantage of it.

Activity is what has mitigated my MS symptoms and issues. I figure, maybe if I have an MS relapse down the road that then I will do the surgery, as I would be down anyway during that time. And  right now, I am only restricted in split lunges, calf raises, running, and things like that where the pressure is too great on that joint area.

In the end, I am safe. I am not recovering from any injuries more serious than this foot issue. I also believe that I was led to that path. Had that elderly woman been alone further down that path... I just hate to think what would have happened to her.

I am blessed. Though really frustrated with my fitness, I am glad that there's nothing else I am recovering from.

FOR AN UPDATE CLICK HERE

Foggy Places and Rainy Days

I have vivid memories of a particularly dense fog that loomed over the Salt Lake Valley sometime during 1985.

The fog seemed the most thick while walking to school in the early morning hours. I had to walk to school with my younger sister Rebecca. Our school at that time was a mile away from home.

Rebecca was scared and walked very slow. I was annoyed and frustrated at first. The next day I realized that her fear was very real to her and she wasn't just making it up to bother me.

She was terrified that her field of vision was so limited. Rebecca was afraid that something truly dangerous was lurking in the fog and it was coming out to get her.

When it rained she was noticeably happier and energetic. When the fog again returned it felt almost as though the fog had also settled inside Rebecca and not just around her.

The fog was so persistent that eventually Rebecca became acclimated to it and it seemed to no longer affect her so severely. She was different though.

It wasn't long after that time that a different hazard surrounded Rebecca; now she was in a difficult and more brutal long-term fog. She would have to fight for her life for many years. 

Sometimes she was leery and cautious of the figurative impact of the dirt in the air around her, "the fog"; other times she was willfully oblivious of it. 

I am now speaking of the negative influence of filthy neighborhood kids, other bad influences, curiosity, molestation, and eventually drugs and alcohol.

The grotesque fog that settled on Rebecca lingered for the next twenty years. For many of those years I was frustrated with her, not fully understanding the dangers that had crept into her life from that same nasty foggy mess that seemed to constantly be her around.

Then I understood the fears, her reactions, and the way she handled the traumas in her life. It was all very warranted, very real, very scary, and her various responses were just as unique as she was.

I loved her, I had many great times and created fantastic memories with her. I also have hated her and not wanted to be around her.

I have laughed with her, I have cried with her, I have learned from her, and I have admired her. I have prayed for her, I have picked her up when she was down. I have been down and been buoyed up by her energy and creativity many times.

I miss sleepovers, late night Phase 10 tournaments, licorice-straws in soda, and cutting out pictures of our favorite famous people from magazines. I desperately miss sharing music and making up songs at the piano together.

I hate the fog that is created by others. It scares me now. It makes me feel more vulnerable than I want to feel. The only way I've been able to navigate it emotionally, has been to pray fervently and to constantly seek out good things.

I believe in a Supreme Being, a Father in Heaven, and I believe that this Being can indeed literally pull the fog out of us, if we let him. Trusting and submitting to the Supreme is like experiencing a good rain; clearing up bad air.

Fog, otherwise known as the darkness created by poor choices by us and others must be allowed to exist, so long as there is agency. The power to choose is ours and those choices certainly can affect others around us.

But this filth that gets kicked up and carried around in the air does not have to exist inside of me if I don't permit it to. I have that choice.

Rebecca made such amazing and tremendous improvements the last several years; especially 2012 until her passing this last May. 

At age 35, Rebecca suddenly passed away. Her body had been through enough and it had rejected the medications used to help her function... her body just simply stopped working. 

Her death was a merciful thing, I think. Rather than living in extreme pain and somehow making it through, she is now free from her pains. 

Her passing came at a high point in her life. What better time to go, right? Her fog has certainly lifted.

I can't help but feel happy for her. Though I miss her, I also feel that she is truly at peace. She deserves that. 

In some way, I sort of feel like she is the one now that is leading me  safely through the fog that comes and goes throughout life. 

I believe that she has joined a team of cheerleaders that surround me. They keep me from allowing any particular dirtiness from creating a fog that's too dense for me to navigate through.

I admire the vantage point and understanding that the dead must have on the living. 

I believe that when it is my turn to return to my Father in Heaven that created me, that I will be greeted by my cheerleaders; Rebecca, certainly first among them... knowing her, she wouldn't permit it any other way.

Writing this feels really good. It has been a healing reflection.

Overalls After All!

This will be my first Mother's Day. To make it even more awesome, we received our sons amended birth certificate in the mail this week.

I've no doubt that he will struggle with the idea that someone else gave birth to him for us. But he is absolutely ours and for right here and right now, receiving his birth certificate with our names on it completely rocks! 

While I was thinking about this being my first Mother's Day, I remembered buying overalls many years ago. I bought them because I was newly married and excited about the potential to be a mom. I really think that pregnant women look so darn cute in overalls.

My husband and I decided to be married at least a year before trying to have children. However, before that year was done, my husband was deployed with the military. Shortly after he had returned from his deployment I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis.

After I left the doctors office, I came home and sat fully dressed in an empty bathtub and cried until I couldn't cry anymore. It was a very ugly cry. I still tear up when I think about it. 

I wasn't lamenting the diagnoses, instead I was absolutely crushed because it was at this time that I knew I wouldn't never physically carry a child inside of me.  

The decision to adopt rather than try to carry a child was an overwhelmingly spiritual decision for the benefit of my health. Both my husband and I felt that we shouldn't gamble with how my body would handle pre and post pregnancy.

We do not judge others with how they would have handled the situation. But in our circumstance, the decision was definitely the right move.

So I put my overalls on. I stood and looked at myself in the mirror and then I went outside and pulled some weeds. I wore those darn overalls landscaping our yard. I used the overalls until they were completely worn out. Then I got rid of them.

Just the other day I was getting my son dressed and pulled out some little blue overalls for him that someone gave us. I dressed him up in them and boy did he ever look cute! It was then that I realized I never lost my dream. I got to carry my child wearing overalls.

 

Living in Faith and Courage

Someone asked me recently, "what made it possible to change from living in fear to living in faith and courage?" This is an extremely good question.

When I was living in fear, I was allowing myself to be ruled by self doubt, which was fueled by false perceptions. These false perceptions were not limited to just myself, but the world, as well as my role within it. I had truly believed that I was insignificant and easily discarded. Please note the past tense tone of that last statement.

Because I felt that I was insignificant and easily discarded, I feared that my entire existence didn't matter. I believed that I was one hundred percent replaceable in every way. Fear was a natural result. This childhood fear definitely lingered well into my adult years.

I would come in and out of this phase and thinking periodically, but it was never a lasting feeling. With such strong limiting beliefs, how on earth could I matter in the grand scheme of things? In what possible way could I bring any value to the world at all?

Then there was a series of events that completely upended this fear-based line of thinking. 

SITUATION: I had a talk with God one day and I asked, if I was so replaceable and insignificant, then why am I here? I believed God to be a kind and a loving God, but if I was here on earth without a purpose or any meaning, then that was just simply cruel.

RESULT: God found a way to let me know that I was of value, but more importantly I believed it. Here's how He did it.

The way in which I learned that I was of value and significance was during the time I was watching my father-in-law slowly die. God spoke to me in my heart during this time. I am not sure that I can describe it, but it was powerful and undeniable. Here were some of the thoughts I was having.

My father-in-law was prone to melancholy and depressive thoughts, yet he had impacted so many lives for good - more than he had impacted them in negative ways. I then thought about others that had "impact" and "value" in the world both on a grand scale as well as in my own personal life. 

Martin Luther King, Jr., Abraham Lincoln, and Oprah Winfrey are truly great people - but with some pretty big issues and faults. But they persevered and continued forward to the best of their ability. They persistently and consistently worked hard to live good lives. Their best efforts changed lives for the better.

On a personal note and as further proof, there's Mrs. Wasden who was my fourth grade teacher. Because of her example I learned to love reading and writing. She is a good woman, with a beautiful light to share with the world. 

All Mrs. Wasden cared about was God, her family, her students... ginger snaps and root beer flavored hardtack candy. Yet, when in her presence, you were made to feel as though you were the top priority - even in a crowded room.

As I reflected on these experiences, they became a serious ongoing boost to my faith. If my imperfect melancholy father-in-law, Martin Luther King, Jr., Abraham Lincoln, Oprah Winfrey, and Mrs. Wasden can impact even one person to change their life for the better, well then...that was a life well spent.

When you have faith-uplifting experiences like this, it creates an energy and courage within. When this happens, the world seems to change right in front of your eyes.


SITUATION: Because of the increase in faith and courage, I felt more daring to try things, to be more involved, and more than that - to believe that my contribution to a variety of events in life actually mattered. 

RESULT: All the sudden I felt a surge of energy, an almost "unleashing" and urgency to live life fully. Why? Because someone out there needed me. Someone out there could have their life changed for the better, just because I had the words and maybe even the actions at the right time to be the linchpin to their unleashing. 

Wham! Bam! All of the sudden I can see that I am in no way insignificant. Of course I matter! Of course I have value! Now that I understand this, how could I have fear? How could I not have courage? 

It was at this time that I first heard Gandhi's quote, "You must be the change you wish to see in the world." He said it so simply. It was as if it could happen, just like that. Just all the sudden, "be the change."

I've since discovered that it is possible to all of the sudden just "be the change." Your habitual doubts and historical behavior are an ongoing obstacle, but it is possible to change them as you create new habits. It requires practice, but it is possible.

Byron Katie is coming!

Byron Katie is an amazing woman who has such a simple concept  she teaches and the simple concept is quite literally mind blowing. She's going to be presenting at the Salt Lake City Downtown Radisson on September 22; who's coming with me?

Participating in this one day event can quite literally change your life. It has the power to strip you of negative perceptions and help you write new very positive ones.

To learn more about The Work of Byron Katie, click here.

Salt Lake City, Utah 
Saturday, 22 September 2012
The Work Now—Loving What Is with Byron Katie 

Byron Katie has one job: to teach people how to end their own suffering. As she guides people through her simple yet powerful process of inquiry, called The Work, they find again and again that their stressful beliefs—about the world, other people, or themselves—can no longer run their lives. Join Katie in a workshop designed to take you on this one-of-a-kind journey of self-discovery now. 

Schedule

Saturday, 22 September, 10 a.m.–5 p.m.

SKIN!

No these are not my legs. 
Here's the link they came from though.

Periodically I've been approached about how I was able to lose the weight without what some thought was a lot of residual flabby skin. 

Generally my first response is, well, I actually dress quite modestly so the biggest trouble areas are masked. My triceps area is the most visible trouble spot I have where you can actually see skin. 

However, I have a trick up my sleeve. This effort has aided in weight loss, however the biggest effects were actually in reducing the stretch marks and tightening skin.

The stretch marks were a result of simply being overweight for the majority of my life, as well as adding to the mess with additional rapid weight gain. 

The stretch marks changed from a mass of very angry red crevices, to being closer to matching my actual skin tone, with a significantly reduced appearance of scarring. Over time the skin has tightened by breaking up the cottage cheese pockets of my super cellulite collection. 

Hydration, strength training and conditioning definitely speed up this tightening process. Hydration makes the skin more willing to let go of stubborn cellulite pockets. 

Muscle aids in the rapid consumption of burning the loosened cellulite that's now ready to burn. In order make the skin ready to let go of the fat, hydration is extremely important. 

Excess coffee, soda, energy drinks, alcohol, etcetera are your worst enemy here. In fact, this is where most people sabotage themselves. Why? Because these products dehydrate you. 

So without further adieu, the method I use is Dry Skin Brushing. There are many resources available to for reading about "the benefits" and the "how to" of Skin Brushing, but to simplify, I'll share just one via Livestrong.com you've got both sets of instructions on one page. 

If you decide to try this, I'm telling you now, you will have better results if you: hydrate, strength train, be consistent. By the way, don't expect to see changes overnight, the effects are cumulative. I personally didn't start noticing things until about two or three weeks after I started the process. Consistency is key!

Poetry Corner: Pristine Pools

Here's stream of consciousness for you... The recent Salt Lake City temperatures make me want to take a nature trip, which makes me recall really loving a visit to Yellowstone National Park in 2005.

I was so inspired by the nature there that I wrote a lot of poetry on that trip. Here's a sampler:

Pristine Pools

treading the planks

of this forsaken land

I ponder the life and

death of all I see…

a boiling brew of earth

begins to drum erratically

occasionally gurgling its refrain,

as a foul misty stench

coats my skin with an unusual warmth,

my lungs begin to burn

elements combine,

molding everything together …

dying beautifully

deep within this fissure

I feel the foul heat begin to call –

an inexplicable urge to touch

the prismatic lake

ricochets

within me…

staring at the mouth wide open

I am temporarily paralyzed –

I feel my beauty fade

the longer I gaze, yet

I am captivated

by the subtle harshness

hidden between the vapor,

I remain –

looking into the clearest chasm

below the calm basin

images of terror dance off-beat

as the earth ruptures inward

while pain echoes,

migrating deeper

agitating the fragile balance

not yet ready to burst

not yet ready to take me…

I am suddenly released

with a promise

and a threat

Diana M. Bateman 

2005©

And That's The Truth!

As mentioned in Get In My Belly (Part II), there were a few books that were particularly enlightening to me. 

I would like to do a review on some of them. This blog entry will specifically address how The Four Agreements and The Voice of Knowledge both authored by Don Miguel Ruiz affected me. I may cover a few other books at a later date.

First of all, you should know that I don't know this man, but he has changed my thinking a great deal. So it is fair to say that a stranger changed my life for the better. 

I read The Four Agreements (TFA) for the first time in 2007. It literally became a lifeline to help me get through the next few years of my life. In this book I learned the following:

1. I was negatively influencing my own reality by being dishonest with myself.
2. I didn't like who I was and couldn't stand to be in my own skin, all because I hadn't found a way to love and accept myself. 
3. Somewhere along the way in this life I told myself that I was: insignificant, dismissible, unimportant, forgettable, replaceable, unintelligent and an unworthy of investment and I believed it.
4. I was living in fear that everyone else around me would find out that the aforementioned conclusions might actually be true. I assumed that these things were true and therefore I assumed everyone else would see and believe these things about me as well. 

After reading TFA I took several months to take a comprehensive inventory. I went through an internal deconstruction. 

I discovered that none of those points that I mentioned above were actually true. The only one who believed those things about me was me. 

The only true statement above was the first one. I saw that I needed to redefine my self-perception. I needed to view my reality without all the lies. 

I needed to embrace honesty and learn to love me for who I am.

I later read The Voice of Knowledge (TVK), which is a follow-up and companion volume to TFA. These books combined sort of became my friends during my deconstruction and reconstruction phases. 

I had later come to realize the outline of me, through the help of TVK. With an outline, I was then able to enter the reconstruction phase. 

I was beginning to take shape and realized that this Diana is the one that had always existed, I just didn't believe it - I didn't know her.

The only real difference between Pre-Diana & Post-Diana was the hazy wall that surrounded her like a cocoon. It simply distorted and hid the reality. 

Until I could be honest with myself that cocoon would always remain. I later found that I was ready to accept the truth of me. 

I could handle seeing and try to believe it now. This is actually quite difficult to do. Until this point I couldn't even meet my own eyes in the mirror, let alone think nice things about myself. 

It's like living in a dark cave without light and then all of the sudden standing on a mountain top in full view of the sun. The contrast was that drastic. It was an "Aha! Moment". In fact, I blogged a little bit about that experience earlier in My Road Back.

We are worth the effort of constantly struggling to see the value of you, me... we... This is a good life, filled with amazing things and opportunities. 

Why do we fall in to the trap of constantly limiting ourselves, simply because we doubt our worth and potential? We have a purpose. 

Why do we lie and try to fool ourselves, eventually letting the weaker part of us be in the driver seat? We owe it to ourselves to be honest. 

There is freedom in the heart and mind when you lay down each night knowing that you have done your best to be truthful.

Narrow Daylight and The Peace It Brings

Close your eyes, take a moment to yourself and drink in the peace that these song lyrics bring. Point to ponder: “are we stronger than we believe?” If you have the audio of this song, I strongly encourage you to press play, if you don't, well then... invest!

When I hear things like this, prayers (old & new) are answered, healing occurs and suddenly I have the faith, hope and courage I didn’t think I had...

Narrow Daylight by Diana Krall (click here to play on YouTube)

Narrow daylight entered my room

Shining hours were brief

Winter is over

Summer is near

Are we stronger than we believe?

I walked through halls of reputation

Among the infamous too

As the camera clings to the common thread

Beyond all vanity

Into a gaze to shoot you through

Is the kindness we count upon

Hidden in everyone?

I stepped out in a sunlit grove

Although deep down I wished it would rain

Washing away all the sadness and tears

That will never fall so heavily again

Is the kindness we count upon

Is hidden in everyone

I stood there in the salt spray air

Felt wind sweeping over my face

I ran up through the rocks to the old

Wooden cross

It's a place where I can find some peace

Narrow daylight entered my room

Shining hours were brief

Winter is over

Summer is near

Are we stronger than we believe?

I Want To Laugh

Diana going down the Zip Line at the Utah Olympic Park.

Turn the volume up and press play to laugh at her and her very serious fear of heights.

I want to laugh, so I am just gonna' put some things on here that are guaranteed to make me giggle. So I hope they work for you too.

From Lily Tomlin in the hit play The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe (written by Ms. Jane Wagner).

• “All my life I’ve wanted to be somebody. But now I see that I should’ve been more specific.”
• "I'd do better at something creative, but somehow I lack talent to go with it, and being creative without talent is a bit like being a perfectionist and not being able to do anything right."
• "You'd think by now evolution could've at least evolved us to the point where we could change ourselves."
• "I can take reality in small doses, but as a lifestyle I think it's too confining."
• "Goin' crazy was the best thing ever happened to me. I don't say it's for everybody; some people couldn't cope.”
• “I refuse to be intimidated by reality anymore.”
• “What’s reality anyway? Reality is nothin’ but a collective hunch.”

Jack Handy, American Writer and cast member of Saturday Night Live from 1991-2003. Jack is famous for his Deep Thoughts.

• “I hope that someday we’ll be able to put away our fears and prejudices and just laugh at people.”

The Importance of Music

My most favorite song is “Through Your Hands” by John Hiatt as performed by Joan Baez. I was introduced to this song by a college roommate in 1994 and it has been a major comfort since; as well as an adopted theme song of my life.

Through Your Hands (by John Hiatt)

You were dreaming on a park bench

about a broad highway somewhere

When the music from the carillon

seemed to hurl your heart out there

Past the scientific darkness, past the

fireflies that float

To an angel bending down to wrap you

in her warmest cloak

And you ask "What am I not doing?"

She says, "Your voice cannot command,

In time you will move mountains

And it will come through your hands."

Still you argue for an option, still you angle for your case

Like you wouldn't know a burning bush if it blew up in your face

Yeah, we scheme about the future and we dream about the past

When just a simple reaching out could build a bridge that lasts

And you ask "What am I not doing?"

She says, "Your voice cannot command,

In time you will move mountains

And it will come through your hands."

So whatever your hands find to do you must do with all your heart

There are thoughts enough to blow men's minds and tear great worlds apart

There's a healing touch to find you on that broad highway somewhere

To lift you as high as music running through an angel's hair

Don't ask what you are not doing

'Cause your voice cannot command

And in time we will move mountains

And it will come through your hands