Thursday, July 22, 2010

Mind Games

The last few years have been a conglomeration of really deep thoughts; way beyond Jack Handy’s attempts. 

I’ve come to understand so much about myself, life, my beliefs, marriage, future, goals (personal and combined with those around me), and my journey with Multiple Sclerosis; just to name a few. 

I feel that I’ve really come to understand the power of the mind and the demons within it. I also have a feeling that I’ve only just scratched the surface.

I firmly believe that the minutia doesn’t really matter, just so long as those itty-bitty details don’t take us away from the core of who we are and what we believe. 

If the little things have potential to degrade, distract, or become bigger problems that mess with the core, then we ought not to engage. 

This requires being honest with ourselves - truly honest. Don Miguel Ruiz has it right in so many ways in his books “The Four Agreements” and “The Voice Of Knowledge”. 

Compiling what I agree with in those books to my own personal beliefs has been really eye opening. But it’s more than just the combination of secular and spiritual knowledge. 

It’s the addition of patience, reflection, and discipline. We live in a world of NOW, so patience and discipline are almost foreign concepts. 

Reflection is as well; we are used to having our ears plugged in to something... I know. I am guilty in many ways.

So much of what we achieve, deal with, overcome, and do on a daily basis is defined by our perception(s) and not necessarily reality. 

Yet, if we pause, reflect, apply patience, and use discipline in our actions, re-actions or speech, I believe we might be able to see the situation for what is really is - an opportunity. It’s an opportunity fresh and waiting to be designed, by you.

Monday, July 5, 2010

Mountains Moved And I Just Ran A Mile - Unassisted!

So there’s a 5K in September that I want to run. I want to do it without the aid of my trusty jogger stroller for the sake of balance.

I want to do this run. I need to prove to myself that I can do this. Today I took myself to the track field of a local high school and decided to see what sort of trouble I’m in for; without the aid of the jogger stroller. 

I walked/jogged/ran that and did a mile in thirteen minutes!!!! I know I could’ve run faster, but safety was at the forefront of my mind.

There was one point where I was doubting that I could or should be doing this and then Pat Benatar was sounding in my ear with “Hit Me With Your Best Shot” and it occurred to me, I can do anything I set my mind to. 

Even if I were in a wheelchair, I could push myself around the track. I can do this! I’m not gonna' let MS rob me of what I CAN do, especially when I CAN do it. 

Then “I Believe” by Diana DeGarmo started to play in my ear and I found my focus and released the doubt; I ran. My left leg started to poop out on me in the last lap and then “Dressed For Success” by Roxette brought me in with a strong finish with the first line ringing in my ear.

“tried to make it little by little, 
tried to make it bit by bit on my own” 

And I did; little by little, bit by bit. Because of that song hitting me just right, I smiled the last bit of that run and that smile, that joy, filled me beyond description.

I cooled down just contemplating over the experience and then as I walked back to the car, Joan Baez filled my soul with “Through Your Hands.” 

I’m even more excited because this song means a lot to me and I get to see her in concert this Wednesday. The truth of what this song means to me hit me and hit me hard.

You were dreaming on a park bench
about a broad highway somewhere
When the music from the carillon
seemed to hurl your heart out there
Past the scientific darkness, past the
fireflies that float
To an angel bending down to wrap you
in her warmest cloak

And you ask "What am I not doing?"
She says, "Your voice cannot command,
In time you will move mountains
And it will come through your hands."

I’m in tears as I write this. I’m overwhelmed by the joy that I feel. Because:

...whatever your hands find to do
you must do with all your heart
There are thoughts enough to blow men's minds
and tear great worlds apart
There's a healing touch to find you
on that broad highway somewhere
To lift you as high as music running
through an angel's hair

Don't ask what you are not doing
'Cause your voice cannot command
And in time we will move mountains
And it will come through your hands