Saturday, September 28, 2013


I have forced entertainment to numb the white noise of my brain. Loud music, movies, and sometimes both at the same time. 

A few different times, I've even had both music and movie going at the same time in order to occupy the rowdy part of my brain, in hopes that the distraction would permit me to focus on reading a book that I needed to understand.

There have been a small handful of times in my life where I was over-numb though. Gosh those are freaky and surreal moments. I was so numb that I was oblivious to everything happening around me.

There have also been times where I have been surprised that the world didn't stop in observance of how my life had just changed (good or bad): cars drove by, people were laughing, dogs were barking, there was a flurry of movement, people obnoxiously loud on their cell phones talking about nothing.

Some of the greatest moments of understanding though have been in the stillness of chaos. Picture a topspin toy moving so fast it appears as though the very center is perfectly still.

I suppose the reason I stay so busy and active is to search for the moment in chaos when clarity manifests; even a split second of calm and understanding has been worth it. I do this because in that very moment some of the most amazing understanding and healing occurs.

This kind of moment just happened to me three times in one day on September 17th:

1st Experience
I've been worn out and running on fumes. I've been struggling with comprehension and needing to study for some continuing education courses that I am taking. I have a crazy, busy, and HEALTHY fifteen month old son. 

I travelled to speak at an event I was invited to, it was at "the big I.F." as locals call it, otherwise known as Idaho Falls, ID. I arrived at my hotel, walked into my room and found a spectacular view as well as very pleasing accommodations. 

The Clarity Received: I literally stood and communed with God and myself. I found tremendous strength and healing in just a few minutes. I felt an overwhelming feeling of love and a sense that all was well. 

Have you ever experienced a time wherein something happened relatively quickly, but during the moment it felt longer because so much happened in just a small amount of magical time?

The picture of view doesn't do it justice, but I took some pictures of the captivating scene from my hotel room. After a time I couldn't help but go for a run out on the trail shown in the picture.

The building in the picture is the Idaho Falls Temple
that belongs to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
2nd Experience
I met a couple at the event this night. While speaking with them I learned that they had a stillborn child at the end of June and two weeks later the husband had a major exacerbation and diagnosed quickly with multiple sclerosis. 

They were overwhelmed, hurting, and terrified. The Clarity Received: In this moment I felt an overwhelming outpouring and feeling of compassion.

The right words came to me. I don't know what I said, but I knew it had been important and valuable to that couple. It felt good to see that they received a little bit of hope that night.

3rd Experience
The evening closed with perfect temperatures and another amazing view. I sat for the longest time drinking herbal tea in the September chill of God's embrace.

The Clarity Received: It was nice to have the white noise of life quite for a time. I was at total peace and calm. That was a beautiful day. 

Sunday, September 15, 2013

Moon Boots

I recall as a child being so excited to have my very own moon boots for winter. The predominant yellow color was so cool. Yellow was and is my favorite color. The vibrancy was a beacon for my youthful energy.

I was convinced that in those boots I could trek all across Antarctica and be totally fine. 

Before I understood how mean penguins could be, I used to dream of how awesome it would be to play with them. Have spectacular snowball fights, slide down the ice slopes, and explore the land.

I would see pictures of Antarctica and be amazed and the beauty of the frozen stillness. 

Looking at pictures of the vast frozen expanse of that land now gives me an overwhelming sense of smallness - kind of like looking over the Grand Canyon and realizing how small you are in the grand scheme of things.

With how self-centered, big-headed and selfish we can all be in this life, I think it is important to still have moments that remind you of how little the world is focused on you.

At the same time, it is important to have spirited youthfulness of the yellow moon boot variety. We have an incredibly large playground, tremendous potential, and a responsibility.

What is more amazing to me is the concept (and question) that, if we are so small in the grand scheme of things and our little lives can be such an impact in changing another life completely, then how "little" are we, really?

Friday, September 6, 2013

Poetry Corner: Visitation Rites

Visitation Rites

A July chill holds me as if I were a child in need and I relent,
embracing the moment customized to heal me

Ah, the gentleness moistens my eyes,
giving the sensation,
but not the appearance,
of having had a good cry

captivated by a good kind of somber
stilled by a raw, but Divine intimacy
I pray… hoping the moment will be granted an extension

I need more –   
I can easily surrender right now

A presence in the air around me soothes my aching,
I wonder who has come.
There is a familiarity… who has brought this peace
so desperately needed?

Gently unraveling the bonds of self-expectation,
responsibilities of life,
I feel as if I’m standing naked
out in the open
and I’ve been granted the privilege 
of everyone being unable to see me.

The bustling continues and my peaceful surrender remains 
fully exposed
I’m safe here
In this moment.

Just as quickly as it came,
I become aware that it cannot last – Dammit!

Emotionally digging in my heals, I plead once more for an extension.

With a final breeze and familiar touch in the wind
I am soothed with a bittersweet embrace
~ this moment was a gift ~
a visitation to grant the courage needed
to keep moving forward

the road is mine to travel
this path is familiar to them though –
they know my heart
and the familiarity beckoned their desire 
to love me more tangibly

ah, I know who this is now…
I’m doing just fine, huh?
Well, you would know.

By Diana M. Bateman