A few different times, I've even had both music and movie going at the same time in order to occupy the rowdy part of my brain, in hopes that the distraction would permit me to focus on reading a book that I needed to understand.
There have been a small handful of times in my life where I was over-numb though. Gosh those are freaky and surreal moments. I was so numb that I was oblivious to everything happening around me.
There have also been times where I have been surprised that the world didn't stop in observance of how my life had just changed (good or bad): cars drove by, people were laughing, dogs were barking, there was a flurry of movement, people obnoxiously loud on their cell phones talking about nothing.
Some of the greatest moments of understanding though have been in the stillness of chaos. Picture a topspin toy moving so fast it appears as though the very center is perfectly still.
I suppose the reason I stay so busy and active is to search for the moment in chaos when clarity manifests; even a split second of calm and understanding has been worth it. I do this because in that very moment some of the most amazing understanding and healing occurs.
This kind of moment just happened to me three times in one day on September 17th:
I've been worn out and running on fumes. I've been struggling with comprehension and needing to study for some continuing education courses that I am taking. I have a crazy, busy, and HEALTHY fifteen month old son.
I travelled to speak at an event I was invited to, it was at "the big I.F." as locals call it, otherwise known as Idaho Falls, ID. I arrived at my hotel, walked into my room and found a spectacular view as well as very pleasing accommodations.
The Clarity Received: I literally stood and communed with God and myself. I found tremendous strength and healing in just a few minutes. I felt an overwhelming feeling of love and a sense that all was well.
Have you ever experienced a time wherein something happened relatively quickly, but during the moment it felt longer because so much happened in just a small amount of magical time?
The picture of view doesn't do it justice, but I took some pictures of the captivating scene from my hotel room. After a time I couldn't help but go for a run out on the trail shown in the picture.
|The building in the picture is the Idaho Falls Temple |
that belongs to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
I met a couple at the event this night. While speaking with them I learned that they had a stillborn child at the end of June and two weeks later the husband had a major exacerbation and diagnosed quickly with multiple sclerosis.
They were overwhelmed, hurting, and terrified. The Clarity Received: In this moment I felt an overwhelming outpouring and feeling of compassion.
The right words came to me. I don't know what I said, but I knew it had been important and valuable to that couple. It felt good to see that they received a little bit of hope that night.
The evening closed with perfect temperatures and another amazing view. I sat for the longest time drinking herbal tea in the September chill of God's embrace.
The Clarity Received: It was nice to have the white noise of life quite for a time. I was at total peace and calm. That was a beautiful day.