Saturday, May 11, 2013

Overalls After All!

This will be my first Mother's Day. To make it even more awesome, we received our sons amended birth certificate in the mail this week.

I've no doubt that he will struggle with the idea that someone else gave birth to him for us. But he is absolutely ours and for right here and right now, receiving his birth certificate with our names on it completely rocks! 

While I was thinking about this being my first Mother's Day, I remembered buying overalls many years ago. I bought them because I was newly married and excited about the potential to be a mom. I really think that pregnant women look so darn cute in overalls.

My husband and I decided to be married at least a year before trying to have children. However, before that year was done, my husband was deployed with the military. Shortly after he had returned from his deployment I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis.

After I left the doctors office, I came home and sat fully dressed in an empty bathtub and cried until I couldn't cry anymore. It was a very ugly cry. I still tear up when I think about it. 

I wasn't lamenting the diagnoses, instead I was absolutely crushed because it was at this time that I knew I wouldn't never physically carry a child inside of me.  

The decision to adopt rather than try to carry a child was an overwhelmingly spiritual decision for the benefit of my health. Both my husband and I felt that we shouldn't gamble with how my body would handle pre and post pregnancy.

We do not judge others with how they would have handled the situation. But in our circumstance, the decision was definitely the right move.

So I put my overalls on. I stood and looked at myself in the mirror and then I went outside and pulled some weeds. I wore those darn overalls landscaping our yard. I used the overalls until they were completely worn out. Then I got rid of them.

Just the other day I was getting my son dressed and pulled out some little blue overalls for him that someone gave us. I dressed him up in them and boy did he ever look cute! It was then that I realized I never lost my dream. I got to carry my child wearing overalls.

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