Poetry Corner: Rubber-Band Girl Syndrome

So I have a stash of clothing of various sizes that I have to keep in storage. The reason I do this is because of what I call the “Rubber-Band Girl Syndrome”.

My body does this thing where it...fluctuates in size before, during, and after steroid treatments. This doesn’t seem to happen to everyone who has these treatments, but for me...let’s just say ElastaGirl has new meaning to me.

So, to add humor to the situation, a while back I wrote a poem about my ElastaGirl/Rubber-Band Girl Syndrome experience that I thought was pretty funny.

Note: this poem should be read with a sea-man sounding voice.

Parable of the Bosom

‘tween Me and Myself

I seldom forget my panties –

but much to my dismay,

when all put together,

do I notice my bosoms

dangle too low

so I heave and I ho

Me pulls the straps on my left,

Myself tourniquets the right;

‘til no more blood graces my veins

shoulder and ‘low

when mirror confronted

I see how silly this be

as bubbled in the center

is the makings of an udder…

in defeat I lower the anchors

and batten down the hatches,

telling myself:

‘tis better to surrender

in the end a good lesson is learned

for I am blessed to jiggle

and

there’s more of me to be yearned.

By Diana M. Bateman