Sunday, December 9, 2007

Emotional Health... cough, cough

We all have “sucks to be me” moments, but why is this one taking so long? It is human to feel sad on occasion, but come to find out, when you have MS there is an increased risk that you can get a lesion that affects your mood and general emotional health. The medications that we take can also cause sadness or depression. How rude! Thank heaven for cute husbands, religion, doctors, yoga, cute dogs, gardening and music. I haven’t figured out all the secrets to life yet, but I am pretty sure that we are meant to LIVE IT...(*ahem*)...but recently, I haven’t been, and quite frankly it has sucked.

So, I go through the motions. I do the things on the “to do” list. I pay the bills. And then for some reason I sit and stare - thinking of nothing in particular and just feel sad. 2:30am eventually rolls around and I am either just falling asleep or suddenly awake with nothing in particular on my mind. I hate 2:30am. But I love my life.

I have asked myself many times, “How do you remain positive and hopeful when you have a tendency towards melancholy?” I don’t think I have a definitive answer, but I’ve found comfort and peace in reading about the great historical figures of American history. I feel excitement and exhilaration in the beauty of the earth and extreme landscapes, so I visit those places or look at pictures and read about them. Music has vital importance in my life and certain songs are reliable for pulling me into a better mental place. I’m sure in later blogs I will share some of them. For now, just know that logically we must experience these less than favorable moments, so that the antithesis of this crud can be as spectacular and joyful as they are meant to be.

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