Courage is fear holding on a minute longer

Diana on initial descent into Natural Bridges National Monument.

"Courage is fear holding on a minute longer. " 

~ George Patton

Just a few years ago my husband was away with the military for a rather significant amount of time. I was unhappy with life and I was alone. I woke up, went to work, and decided that on the way home I'd pick up something from a fast food vendor or I'd order pizza. 

I always had plenty of soda pop on hand and a recently rented television series waiting at home. From five to eleven-thirty at night I didn't move much from the couch. 

Life was too hard to handle away from the remote control. Looking back I see that I wasted so much time doing absolutely nothing! I was afraid to do things alone. 

I was afraid to go to sleep. I was afraid to wake up. I was afraid to start my day. I was afraid of socializing because people have to engage and talk there... I was afraid to talk. 

I was afraid to answer the phone or the front door; even if friends were on the other side. I was afraid to feel. I was afraid to exist. 

As you may have read from previous posts, several things changed for me; above all my attitude. 

I realized that if I don't work on the things that I want most in life, then I won't see them come to fruition. If I were lazy and couldn't allow myself to care, then how could I expect family or friends to care or support me?  

I had to find inner strength and courage to have a more meaningful existence. The thing that amazes me most is that I think I've only even scratched the surface of that inner strength and courage. 

It's also an extremely fragile thing to hold on to. It's a conscious decision and commitment. It's holding on... just a little longer, daily.