I think it's so interesting that we sometimes set our own darn selves up and then act surprised about how we got there. I am human and I face this repeatedly; such as my poem below would suggest.
muddied by self-deception,
I sip the realization carefully,
hoping to circumvent
the absolute inevitability that
I've sabotaged myself
I am facing yet another
By Diana M. Bateman
I used to punish myself when I discovered that I would or could sabotage myself. The only thing that has changed, is that I try to embrace the opportunity to further my knowledge about the messages I missed the first time around. If I can't let go of the error, now that I'm aware, then I punish myself. So human!
What I like about the situation this time around is that the wall isn't brick any longer, its more pliable. I'm okay. Life requires work in order to evolve into who I have always been "becoming."
The reality isn't so "harsh" any longer either. It's simply a reality that most likely can be rewritten. Now I understand that the only crappy thing about any situation is if I am not willing to make any personal changes that got me there in the first place.