Half the issues that we have in life could be resolved if we would just show up, rise to the occasion and follow through. Easier said than done for sure! Yet, somehow we always end up surprising ourselves...
I leave for Moab, Utah today. I'm headed south for the Canyonlands Half Marathon; running as a part of the Huntsman Hometown Heroes. I'm nervous and there's a bunch of doubt creeping in all the corners of my brain.
I was running the other day and I was thinking about the days when I ran with no doubt at all. I remember the pure determination. I remember the raw joy of the run.
It's different this go-around for some reason. My focus has been... slippery. My body has been fighting me so very much. However, at the same time, I'm packing up and showing up.
I know I have it in me to run this, it would just be nice if my brain would follow suit. I'm moving forward because of the momentum that has been built. We can't always rely on a compliant body or a fully focused mind to do the things we desire to do. We don't always have that luxury.
I do not care that I have Multiple Sclerosis, this disease doesn't even factor in to the run this go-around. The bigger, more ever-present burden is disbelief. Yet, even in my doubt, there's a glimmer of knowledge that is going to see me through.
The knowledge is that no matter my pace or posture in the journey of this race (or my life), I have a finish line to cross - I intend to cross it.
It's not the finish time or finesse that wins this kind of race, rather it's a willingness to meet the challenge head-on that determines success. I hope, I pray that if nothing else, the journey is a beautiful one.
Here's to surrendering to a power that is most definitely beyond my own.