Thursday, October 24, 2013

Suicide?

I've been thinking about suicide. Not personally, but in relation to someone dear to me. I've been thinking about hard times and the reason why thoughts of suicide are entertained.

This is a tough topic and one many people don't like to address, but it needs to be! If you are in need of help, please call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline now!

I can honestly say that at one point, for a small period, I have actually contemplated suicide as an option for myself. I can also say I found my way out of thinking it was a viable option and I will share why in this post. 

This is hard for me to share. I feel as though I need to though. I do not know the reason, but here it goes.

Facing catastrophic situations, depression, failing health, addictions, poor life choices, failing relationships, bullying, and much more... 
whatever the reason may be for your contemplating suicide, I promise you that your life is worth living.

I recall the day I understood the fact that I was a divinely created with an enormous amount of potential. I deserved to live, as well as to thrive. 
God needed me to live. 
I have a purpose. 
So do you!

I understood this truth during the precise moment that I had a choice to either act on my suicide plan or to abandon it.

I understood it, not as an excuse to abandon the plan to end my life, rather, it was the precise reason for why I created the plan to suicide in the first place. Let me try to explain.

I didn't believe I was of value to the lives of those I loved most dear. I believed that I was insignificant, replaceable, incapable, stupid, and undesirable. 

I believed that so many people would be much better off if I were no longer in the picture. I didn't want to hurt anymore. I didn't want to continue to live the way I was living. I couldn't see a way out of being an insignificant, stupid, and unwanted person. 

No one should ever believe the lie that their life doesn't matter... 
not even those that have lived a life of crime, hurt others, or made big mistakes. Even those people have loved and been loved. 

Even those people have a divine potential waiting to be uncovered. Even those people will be missed by someone. Even they were created in God's image and for a reason. Even they deserve to find peace from the torment they have had in this life.

Now thinking of this person that I love so dearly, mentioned at the start of this blog entry. He is not a criminal. He is a young man that has so much more life to be lived ahead of him. His heart is so pure and innocent in many ways. My life is definitely better with him in it.

My heart aches for him to see the amazing person that he is. My heart yearns for his release from the pain that he is literally putting himself through. 

He can have release from the pain, without killing himself. It is possible! I wish, hope, and pray for the day that he sees himself as God sees him. 

You are worth every effort to fight the evil voice that tells you that you aren't worth it. You are worth so much! 

Rest easy in prayer tonight, dear boy. Jesus loves you, so do I, and so many others around you. You are amazing. 

If you are in need of help, please call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline now! 

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