Friday, February 3, 2012

Damn Nylons!

I literally almost didn't go on a mission for my church because wearing nylons would be an essential part of my daily wardrobe. I did end up going on a mission though, but it was due to the genius that invented knee highs.

It took me a long time to figure it out, but I actually occasionally struggle from the effects of claustrophobia and the restriction of something so tight on me, (like nylons), that I am just agitated the entire time I'm in them. 

I was also obese at that time and my body just wasn't built to put nylons on easily. Apparently there's an art to putting nylons on, but I don't have that skill. 

I didn't understand the claustrophobia issue during the mission or even just a couple of years ago. I just thought that nylons were the creation of the devil, reinforced by popular society to be a required standard for women in skirts and dresses. As it turns out, minus the devil part, that last statement is kind of true (in my opinion). Screw that society! 

I actually discovered the claustrophobia issue much later. Over the years it has become more and more apparent pre and post MRI. MRI's are a frequent requirement to aid my continued medical management with Multiple Sclerosis. 

Now, I'm totally fine thinking about getting an MRI, but then come the day before and I get really anxious. In that state of mind, I start to get worried about how stiff I get in the darn machine. 

Then I think about having to lay perfectly still for an hour, while loud obnoxious noises rattle everything inside of me; praying that the rattling bursts of offensive noise won't startle me enough to make me move, which would require that MRI sequence to start over. 

Then my mind starts to worry about the tech and if they will be able to find a good vein easily, in order to inject the gadolinium dye, that acts as an illuminating contrast to enhance the scans that they are taking. 

If they don't get the vein right, then the side-effects of recovery from the dye getting into the body, outside of the vein, is very unpleasant. Then I start worrying about the results... 

My last MRI was a week ago. I don't know the results yet. I think my doctor is just going to wait on giving me the results until my next follow-up with him in March. I'm assuming that if there was a problem, they would have reached out to me by now.

The list of things that my mind thinks about pre and post MRI could go on a lot longer, but the reality is that darn glamour shot they took of my innards doesn't change the fact that I feel good right now. I am happy, right now. I am living life the best I can and gosh darn it, I'm having fun - right now. 

I should have smiled for the picture, then my big concern would be if I could hold the smile long enough. Better yet, maybe next time I will take a couple pair of nylons with me and require that the technicians wear them the entire time my photo shoot is running. 

I know it's not their fault, but it would sure make me feel better. Damn nylons!


  1. Personally I consider pantyhose sorta like sausage casings. It has taken me years but I don't wear them willingly anymore unless I absolutely have to.

    1. Awesome description! I agree for sure.